[_within unconvention_]

Nothing Left

2009-08-10T21:04:00.000-07:00

cuz what you've never had is nothing left to lose
nothing left to understand
when all you've had is something better than before
all you coulda been is worse than what you are
look off and see those differences away so far
i bet the changes are too difficult for you to imagine
cuz there's nothing to forget
in the end i guess there's nothing to regret
just emptiness and laughing silence left to rot
all that coulda been is just wrong
gonna leave those gifts that coulda been given cuz they're wrong
cuz the way you coulda learnt is wrong
wrong wrong wrong
never knew any other way that what i can see today
but all i can see is the way that the old ones pray
but i don't think that is gonna be another way
that reality has never held ground for me today
angels once said that all i can do is tell the story i was told
get out of this dark hole, break the mold
take myself a blanket and go back out in the cold
somewhere in the back of my mind i know the truth was sold
to someone else who didn't have a soul
or maybe just that they didn't break the mold
cuz all they wanted was what's been sold
somethings never change and somethings never stay the same
somewhere out there there's nothing similar
that is reality everything is just a mirror
of what we wanted when it was gone in magic made
by those who wanted to make sure we wouldn't manage or remake
what the wanted us to hate
those things about ourselves we try to remake
cuz there's never time telling you that it's too late
maybe a second chance is just to turn back the clock and go out that gate
another chance to change the hands of fate
so cruel and unjust there's sometimes nothing left but hate
and no-one left to liberate
i hope there's something left for you to leave
so that i can take a chance and love
instead of hoping to take some paint and cover it all uo
instead of making it vanish up

Round Drum

2009-08-09T20:03:00.000-07:00

round drum
carries heartbeat, heartbreak
carry that drum in your chest
take good care to protect and honour
your ancestors worked for it
take good care of it
only love and honesty are in there
there is a reason you have been givent this drum,
this drum that was carried by those who are near and dear,
at least those you are descended from, whether there is love there or not
take this drum from them
even if you do not love them, because without it you will be lost
there will be nothing to carry your heartbeat, heartbreak
take this drum
and with it you will be able to hear your heart
take this heart, and you will be able to hear the heartbeats of your ancestors
those echoes are still in there
take this heart, and you will be able to hear what has happened before you
those stories are still in there
gently take this drum so you can hear your drumbeat
they say that individuals only march to the beat of their own drum
only you can decide what that beat is
take this heart so you can hear your drumbeat
take this drum

Anyways

2009-08-09T19:48:00.001-07:00

cut the surface like glass
metal gunwhale sharpened to a point
we're going home
horizon invisible to the naked eye
donning sunglasses at night, i see home
sparkling stars dancing in the dark sky
up above my head
heart's compass is the only necessary guide
day's just begun
no-where
some-where
any-where
nothing between us and the other side
admiring the beautific trees and green
ripples hit the rocks
all i know of them is their reverbations
echoes coming back to me
everything i need
everything i need
everything i need
it's all here with me
somewhere south behind is a land of glass and cynicism
nothing i need
left behind cause all i had was nothing left to lose
goodbye green
i think i'll settle for a red any day, anyways
some things were just never made to last
one day i might go back
but in the meantime, nighttime
i'll just sigh and say goodbye
save yourself and get away, got to keep myself all to my self
who knows what's waiting on the other side?
i dunno but won't we all see sometimes
take everything you've got, and give it back
keep on giving everything you're not
instead of taking everything you've got
somewhere, over the rainbow
that's what they told me, anyways
don't worry, i'll say goodbye to green
take a red any day, anyways

don't worry

2009-07-29T18:28:00.001-07:00

don't worry i already hate you
the place that you have created doesn't have room enough for me
don't worry i can take you
i've already learned how to deal with stares, wordless comments
don't worry, i won't forget you
like the thousands before you whom i lost respect for, you will always be enshrined
no matter how hard to work, no matter how hard you try
that image of your own ignorance and utter failure is branded into my mind
perhaps it would've been best if you tried for success but sadly you have never succeeded
those hollow words that you speak are nothing but empty threats
time doesn't need to errode them to tell me that what you have said is really nothing
i don't even have to listen to you anymore
destitution and persecution is all that i am destined for by your projection
seems you have left whatever else is there to my own reflection
perhaps you hope that i can just keep afloat
never have to take care of me, carry me with your money

ergo, i too am human

long time ago eh

2009-07-16T16:16:00.000-07:00

when i was young (long time ago eh)

i walked

i saw

big city opened up it's mouth and yawned

inviting universe ravishing in beauty and furnished with fantasy

a playground.

i walked

beside the bars, the drunks, homeless, junkies,

ne'er-do-wells.

city life created its own offspring, larvae ready to implode

destroyed already before incubation and (re)birth

i walked

i saw

them

and i heard the words when i saw

THEM

don't be like

them

paraded by parents (their own minds clouded by what they were taught, afraid themselves)

don't be like

THEM

don't be another drunk indian

DON'T BE ANOTHER DRUNK INDIAN

a long time ago eh?

sunset smiled down on the man-made metropolis

green grass growing gaily down the boulevard

human footprint on the land.

once where women took care of the land, loved it, grew only what was needed

they are gone.

only big city opening its mouth, yawns

young eyes open up to far far away

the city has disappeared already because it has destroyed itself

multiple identities gone.

no more taking children down the damp sidewalk,

telling the kids

don't be like

them

no more.

water rises up to meet the sky and everything disappears.

Parental Control

2009-06-29T20:47:00.000-07:00

so i sit and admire the world you have created for me

the place you have designed and guarded

jealously waiting for the surprise and honour so perfect for my world

in your haste and hard work you have made it some thrill

hoping to keep me occupied and entertained

you put before me the most you could afford

the riches of your soul and all the treasures of your money galore

your foundest hopes are passed to me

the burning torch of your desires unfolds

all that you have wished for is supposedly my desires

i admire and observe these things of beauty

only to tell that you have forgotten some

or that you have not been thinking at all of me

instead you have created the world only for the image of yourself

History

2009-06-11T20:08:00.001-07:00

and so i saw my ancestors
all lined up like at a feast
most of them all gone now to a land of rest
but the rest got told by some they're traitors

now don't tell me i've seen the last of those retaliators
cuz i know that those cowards can't mess with the best
especially when those they do are this content originators
kinda like they wanna poke some sort of jest

but time will tell who does well
overcoming the consequences of greed and destruction
passing in between the troughs and riding the swells
perhaps proving the point we've got more gumption

the song's can't be sung if the sun don't shine
but as you'll come to see, everything's done in the end of time

Kill

2009-05-25T21:15:00.000-07:00

kill for a thrill

kill for a chill

doesn't that make you ill?

to think that a kid would even think

that to be like that he's gotta have a shank

something you'd expect in a prison

not a seventh grader

well, why don't i catch you later?

something the matter?

why do you think i run as your teeth chatter?

doesn't it give chills

to think that your own self is ready to kill

and you claim that your in it for a thrill

spice and dice and slice

but i can see that everything ain't all rosy and nice

perhaps we can be just as nice

blame the parents

better to just eat your carrots

eye-sight will make you a better killer anyways

i've seen what you think it is to be mean

and i've seen the ways you walk and what you mean

and how you think you're all over this scene

maybe just take a step

and see the vast void over which you've leapt

from childhood to the world of men

but i bet that's really what you wanted in the end

when all you've ever learnt is how to make a good friend

but will they really be there for you in the end?

those with their flashing clothes

and the way that they talk and the way they all know

now maybe i'm sad that the shape that you're in

might have to do with the shade of your skin

but somehow i don't think it has everything to do with why you're in

honesty and modesty

are not counted as goals

where the ice in your heart is as black as coals

but maybe more along the lines of prosperity

but how you got there needs some clarity

when all the world you've seen is just a fallacy

When the Lights Go Out

2009-05-25T20:56:00.001-07:00

they put granny on a bus to nowhere

empty seats and foreign apolstery

all the words reserved for mental health facility

don't you wanna just join in the fantasy?

but in reality, it's just granny

taking a ride with her man just cause she can

the wind from the window just making her hair blow

as she sits and thinks about why she has to go

the hospital looms ever present in her recent memory

its prison like walls surrounding her with anger and jealousy

the grandkids, forgotten like broken china dishes

all those dreams can just go swim with the fishes

they put granny on a bus to nowhere

where's she gonna go if not there?

in her place there's gonna be another

whose grandkids neglect and smother

their love so fleeting that you wonder if they ever had a mother

to teach them the ways of the world and some others

but god knows the freedom beckons

and how freedom of choice is a better reckon

maybe their parents weren't even there to reconcile

the ways in which they left them while

they spent their own time in a place out of mine

those drunks in park knocked out from wine

while somewhere in the back of their minds

they know they should be at home

caring for the baby they like to call their own

when really it's granny who's doing it alone

her worn out frame carrying all that pain

that her kids never managed to shed

no matter how much blood they saw bled

cause sometimes what you think can teach really just goes to your head

in place of that honesty

they put a fake world of hilarity

high smiles and drunken whiles are the only thing left for their disparity

money vanishing faster than a magician on speed

they work too hard to get the fix they need

the kids wrapped in granny's arms

hoping to protect them from harm

she can't be the answer to all hate's charms

they put granny on a bus to nowhere

once upon a time youth smiled on her

the now glazed eyes of her beloved fixed with hers

he seemed so much better

but that's what life is, isn't it?

change is natural

though we like to think it's controllable

with our various drugs instead of kisses and hugs

we blind the mind instead of teaching what way to find

ain't it a crime?

they put granny on a bus to nowhere

someday, she hopes

those undeserving little sh_ts will look back and smile

for once appreciation show in their eyes

something they didn't know the really meaning of

because they were already gone from the reach of her love

something she couldn't deal with or thought she was above

not that it's her fault

she tried the best she could for run times two

when those who weren't supposed to let her down

decided to let their responsibilities drown

and hope that all they'd get from her was a demand and a frown

but sadly their immature minds are just too blind

to know that those they hurt the most

are those they hoped they could keep close

kids aren't kids anymore

they grew up, after giving up

because there wasn't anything left for them to reach up

they put granny on a bus to nowhere

because those little sh_ts wanted her there

Magic Carpet

2009-05-22T22:31:00.001-07:00

i've got this magic carpet,

and all you've got to do is ride it,

ride it, ride it

cuz when you think you're falling, it'll just take you higher

way up above the city skyline

the boulevards and seaside

perfect squared concrete and shops

throngs pushing through all the bus stops

loud cries and banter abound

the population continually rising

imagination searching and divining

all they can see from the sky so high

everything hide to just a plain eye

away, up high

the distractions dissipate into space

Funeral

2009-05-17T13:09:00.000-07:00

long black rollers

crashing against the barren shoreline

the parade of the dead passes by

mourners shrouded within their own misery

they carry the heavy burden left by the deceased

bells ring above the modern churchyard

not so long ago something much different would have occurred

the missionary priest greets the tragic party

behind they drag the wooden coffin

house of the dead

for there his spirit will reside forever in the arms of god

slowly

the sun breaks through the morning fog and climbs

to its mid-day resting place above the evergreen mountains

gladly heavens rays shine down from above onto the sinners

the throng presses itself into the minute wooden church

built to hold fifty at capacity

but the fire marshall is not here to observe and demand

children talk loudly in their high-pitched voices

many do not realize the gravity of the events before them

the choir begins to sing

as many force themselves into the little worn building

a man attempts to open the windows

but stops when he realizes they have been painted shut

the spirit house

the mourners pass on their sadness through the ceremony

gently they lower him into the ground

his final resting place

Ghost Clouds

2009-04-21T21:37:00.000-07:00

they smile like a dead dream
a dead dream half empty, the moldy lace curtains shaking in the whistling wind
nothing more shall remain
golden sunlight gone down behind the horizon
flowers bend in the oncoming storm
big brown earth mouth opens wide
yawns
swallows up the water from the wide open sky
nothing left behind
all is emptiness
ghost clouds smear in pirouettes daintily
their shadows dance on the grass
fading soon, they too will be gone
serene grandmother smiles
little children look up at the big dark sky
thunder?
lightening?
just words to express physical action
just names to express physical emotion
just another form of attachment
time changes all of everything
infinity keeps walking on
one by one, they are all gone
rain comes again
the wide earth opens wide mouths and swallows
rain falls down from the sky
grey aggregate colour
it lookings longingly at the ground so far away
the granite in the ground is the same colour
waving in the wind the grass continues
so many more times grass will be there
long ago descendants of it saw the same
everything is changed by time
only infinity keeps walking on

Gone

2009-04-20T22:06:00.000-07:00

magic doesn't happen overnight
doesn't get created when you sit up late at night
no-one understands why you'd go destroy something right
cuz magic's just another way to determine the wrong from the right

creation is just another evolution
when what you really want is revolution
crucify the masses and force them to wallow in their own retribution
no more lies and games, just a final solution

tolerance doesn't really teach
all it does is keep killin those who preach
the message screwed up before it gets to those they're tryna reach
nothing to lessen the fact that all they've ever taught they sucked off like a leech

motion flows and thought pattern slows
what's been done and gone is only in between the lows
keep you eyes up on the sky don't look down below
watchers keepin their eyes on you from down low

honesty the best defence for those who hope to repent
something to show for how many lives they spent
the last mistake, one to many for those who's lives went
angry edge to the horizon makes the land look bent

never seen anything so obviously destructive
curling tentacles menacing through eyes and hearts receptive
young minds gone to something so bad and deceptive
but what can we do, when they have chosen their own demise as elective?

bury the dead and move on
cuz what's been said is broken and gone
face the darkness and hope to usher in the dawn
but what can you do when everyone else is gone?

don't ride the fence and hope we'll buy your blue sky blues
cuz what you really wanna hide will come back to you
especially when you're knowin that it's really all true
feelings and farces can't save you from the fate painted by black and blue

they promised you the world in exchange for all you can give
but don't you want a chance to just be here and live?
or is that too much to ask for from someone slipping through a sieve

perhaps it's that you don't want to be here
instead you want to go where everything is really clear
and get yourself out of here
but what'll happen to those you left behind and helpless?

buy yourself that one way ticket
cuz once you've got it you can never release it
take yourself to a cell or a little black box, cuz that's what you want isn't?
and maybe then you know that you can't really get it

you don't really know what you got til it's gone and no i'm not just talking about that one song
you know the one where you kinda sang along
well it's that same old song
except that you never saw the light and now that time has gone

Not So Innocent

2009-04-04T21:59:00.000-07:00

Clustering the corner
leaning, apprehensive
the crowd admires the passing traffic.
Rain patters down, unnoticed
they are worlds away,
heads spun and twisted, the needles within knitting.
Glassy eyes stare back at passerby
ignoring
everything that they don't want to see.
Recognizing only the ones they know
looking beyond everything and everyone else
always searching.
Tourist exits bus
glancing in their general direction,
is afraid of them.
Fear takes over,
takes the role of fight or flight
the heart begins to pump harder.
At first they do not notice the tourist,
sitting duck,
hoping they will remain unobservant.
Unfortunately, some are more aware than others
one shambles over
glassy eyes hidden by a playful smile.
Tourist recoils
who are they
why are they here.
Caught off guard by the innocent smile
that is not so innocent
all is not what they thought.

Sing Your Own Song

2009-03-31T19:11:00.000-07:00

what's be done is only what's become
the things from which we thought we'd run
cuz that's the only way we can see what's begun
and in the end where we've come from

if anything we should hope to understand
instead of look around and only reprimand
cuz that's the way we shouldn't really stand
without the honesty or truth of what we set to plan

if we had the time or morality
we'd be able to create what we want in reality
rather than drive our own desires into obscurity
because we're so caught up with popularity

magic doesn't happen overnight
without the thought of flight
with the the awesome sight
of how we'll make a "maybe" might

and even with this consideration
all we may have left is truly trepidation
cuz we're just full and often are mistaken
but how would you know without that revelation

to ask isn't to find
it's to look at what you've done and redesign
stepping outside in what you've come to mind
until you can look back and maybe see a sign

the image of perfection is something best left to reflection
rather than instant satisfaction
cuz you know it won't end with all that gratification
rather you'll see that you were overtaken

thoughts destroy and recreate
the things we swore we'd really hate
but how can you full comprehend the matters of late
when some foolish fallacy is given such a weight

flowers don't bloom in dead empty soil
and work won't get done without any toil
even so you need to see between the vinegar and oil
and reach right back down into that dark black soil

recite not what you were taught but your own song
cuz in the space of absence we have stood too long
hoping that some presence will hurry us along
but that isn't true; sing your own song

Big Blue Lake

2009-03-27T21:54:00.001-07:00

big blue lake
kinda like the one we call crystal lake
sparkling starts dancing on the water
and all you can see is the big blue crystal off as far
as
you can see
wish somebody could be here
to share
the way things are looking
something special should be shared
not locked away in a vault of memory
sadness doesn't turn to goodness
not matter how much you apply the kindness
spring comes late here
hardy trees punctuate the rugged rocks
determined
they pine onward
no pun intended
one day i want to build a cabin on these big crystal shores
logs of cut pine
sweet smells of sap to wake up to
nothing better in the world
away from the traffic and the throngs
and all the things that can possibly go wrong
dancing sky
i can see for miles
the water beckons
for
a canoe to crest the surface
long ago memories come back
some things you just can't forget
no matter
how you crush them

2009-03-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

the foundation's been laid
lumber delivered
sun shines down on the fresh cement
the old house is long gone
nothing will remain
it took a while to get rid of all the junk
maybe next week we will get the frame up
right now we can just wait
from here you can just see the road
not too busy though
soon the kids will have their own rooms
something to be said for a good sized house
maybe in two weeks
we can start the roof
lumber lies where the shed once stood
we will put another one up
one without mold
and garbage
you couldn't open the door
or garbage would tumble out

Feeling

2009-03-17T13:29:00.001-07:00

what a magical mystery
of the things that begin and the things we rekindle
something to be said for the things we find alternatively
relationships fade and the weather does change
time goes by and the wind sighs
how we face the world realistically
the choice is yours
magic doesn't happen overnight
you have to work at it
Rome wasn't built in a day
or so they like to say
slowly our fears can edge away
and leave us with nothing but what we really want
something we can choose to mold and fold
the feelings and things we want to share instead of burdens to bear

Time and Time Again

2009-03-15T21:27:00.000-07:00

rain clouds and electric razors shine reflections off the bathroom window
sunshine creeping through the clouds again and blue sky's on the way
somewhere a bus rumbles through the buildings
grass getting illuminated by the sharp shining light
traffic wines as the clock ticks the day by in seconds
on the desk the papers sit for me, ever-ready
waiting for that knock on the door and the eviction notice
sitting still no sound comes from the stairwell
everything's packed, set to be sent up north
back home somebody's waiting
counting down the days until the time is here
no more knocks on the door at ungodly hours of the day
while the time away
bare walls stare out with uninspired faces
all the photos of cousins and countless others are gone
sandwiched between books and breakables within boxes
duck tape keeps them all safe
sunshine day
clutter cleared and counters cleaned, gleaming
nothing remains, all will disappear
open windows sing to the wind, come in come in come in
time and time again
one orange moving truck idles below
boxes, bags and parcels make the descent to its bed
there they will remain until the destination
one last careful check to insure everything is gone
saying goodbye
returning the key one last time
the landlord isn't home, he won't know until it's too late
a stop at the bank to gather the well-saved money
soon, the on-ramp to the highway
no turning back

This Land

2009-03-07T20:37:00.000-08:00

dark dank rain on the truck windshield,
onward i go.
clouds descend with ever-rising rapidity,
i laugh, and think of the times when these skyies were sunny.
west coast wet coast.
nothing between me and the empty highway except how many tonnes of metal they put in this truck,
cruising along between the evergreen gorges, the sparkling streams and the ferocious waterfalls.
up ahead, just another in turn in the road,
onward i go.
mist sits in the trees, looking down thoughtfully as i admire the its wispy mustache whinging its way between the boughs.
"just guy, on the lost highway"
cold night will set in before and after i have reached my final destination.
city born, country bred.
i dog the relentless reaches of the province,
and pound the pulverized pavement that winds its way wonderously throughout.
soon
i will load my behemoth vehicle of steel, iron and whatever else they are putting in these damn automobiles nowadays,
onto the wrought platform of a ferry
and coast merrily down the coast, past the reserves and resources
the dark evergreens everywhere.
so long i have longed for this land,
the mountains that open up their arms to pick me up and carry me into their hearts,
the currents in the ocean that twirl and wave their hands, beckoning,
the world where everything began for me.
the place where i have grown up.
there is no other place like it it the world.
though my ancestors come from lands to the east, the Metis in Manitoba and Saskatchewan and others farther still,
forever i will be here in this land.
this is where i come from.
i have been taught the ways of this land,
when i set foot in it i am able to understand.

Northern Highway

2009-03-01T12:30:00.000-08:00

big brown bluffs
sand dancing off the road
wind waves the surface of the water
90 miles an hour down the highway passing town
sun setting in the west as the shadows start getting longer
soon dusk is here and the little golden lights can be seen from houses
before you know it the stars will be up in the royal blue sky blinking down at us
turn on the radio and listen to a station as sleepiness starts to edge its way after a long day
as more hours pass the later it gets and actually gets closer and closer, dawn of another new day
yawn and smile as another small country town goes flitting by in the blink of one drowsy eye
somewhere in the distance the light begins its daily transformation to day again
a bright blue line on the eastern horizon disappears behind mountains
higher it climbs as the road progresses steadily northward
almost time for breakfast today if you find a town
the sun crests the now rolling hills
new scenery and a new day
grassy golden fields

Magic Bullets

2009-02-15T12:08:00.001-08:00

magic bullets and sadistic currents
something we think we know as we think of how we need deterents
keep yourself away from the bad and hope to make yourself good
something that doesn't seem to work but you hoped it would
'cause that's the only way you can think of being good
enabled to disable 'cause that's the only way you've been able
why don't you just sit down at this table and be reasonable
but that's impossible 'cause you're really lost in yourself
doesn't take a blind man to see that you're the only one you need
'cause the things one which you need to feed
are things that just 'cause you to have more greed
when you're never satisfied by the things you'll never really need
if we're just shooting stars in the sky
then why do you keep looking forward to day you'll die?
nothing's ever going to change unless you take the chance and try
instead of looking blankly back up at the sky
animosity is just another form of curiousity
one where you don't know where your understanding is
'cause you have no idea what truth really is
lost in a blur of adrenaline and something else
so take a substance and inject it into your veins
remove the thoughts and actions you view as your chains
but before you know those things are your reins
and what you thought would make you feel better has become a bother
'cause there's no way to escape something that loves you like a brother

hey kiddo

2009-02-06T23:01:00.001-08:00

hey kiddo
watchin' you grow up
i see what you're gonna be
just wanna guide you
see you through
make sure you know what to do
can't stop lovin' you
make me smile as i see you change
the ways of the world are wonders with you
happiness is blissful
my heart is kept safe
watchin' and learnin' as you do the things you do
i'm so proud
nothin' better than havin' this chance to be here
got nowhere else to take the place of now
i dunno if i'da said this back a year from now
but now i know
that there isn't anything better than seein' your kid grow
gotta share the love while we're here
my back is strong to carry the load
of parenthood and things for the old
cuz i know you're still young and'll do it for me when i get old
cuz that's just the way the way the stories are told
passed back along to the young from the old
your grace and innocence
are somthin' so genuine and free
it makes me laugh with joy
as i see the peace you carry inside
somethin' nobody should ever have to hide
somethin' i want you to carry with pride
i don't own you
you are your own person
i just want to be your guide
and help you do whatever you decide
cuz all parents gotta do is be their kid's guide

Alcohol

2009-02-06T22:47:00.000-08:00

Glass bottles, gently carved from the shifting sands of the earth,
they are lined along the wall, soldiers facing the world, their blank faces staring out at you,
colourful labels and designs so fine,
all lined up in one long line,
sealed and sold, carried clandestinely in a brown paper bag, just under your arm.
But here they sit, still innocent,
nothing wrong to be done here, only looking but for that the price is free.
Try it just once, and you'll try it again,
circles of well-pounding metal encapsulate them from future patrons, waiting
longing, to be opened, their contents hurriedly swallowed in a frenzy,
remains a mystery, since nothing inside them is really all reality.
Lights shine up behind them, the eyes if angels, watching over us as we paw them, eye them, caress them,
hope for one moment that the security cameras, policemen, casheers, and laws will cease to exist so we can scoop them up, cradle them in our arms,
and disappear.
Such desperate longing is the way of the devil,
or so it has been said by many who know what lies locked within those cylinders of glass,
and who would gladly tell you they had no need for it in their lives,
when really all it does is walk them through life in a stupor of fantasy, like a dead dog on a leash.
They would have you believe that, because they cannot believe it themselves;
they do not want to believe it.
crystal glass dances in the sparkle of the lights, giving off an irreplaceable sheen
draws you in
it's reaching desire and playfulness tricking your heart.
It wants you to believe.
It wants you to love.
It wants you to be deceived.
It wants you to surrender.
so many, it grabs
holding onto their shirt collars with more force than a politician on campaign day,
more force than you will ever see displayed by a policeman.
Just that power itself is enough to do some people in, they don't need to stick around and see the rest of what it has to offer them,
the delights, the fears, the shadows and signs.
They may not have seen it already, but they are filled up by it.
They are finished by it.
Let the thunder pound down and the rainfall roll over,
as we sit and we wait for these times to be over,
the smiles of those who sell and the greedy, impatient hands of those who have come to claim their eagerly awaited glass-cloaked prizes, which
on some occaisions, take no time in taking those lives,
for which they have been bought and sold for in front of some eyes.

Made the Change

2009-01-30T23:48:00.000-08:00

got myself a ticket home
goin back to the place i was born
goin home to where i'm from
family waiting at the shore
gonna wait for me in lac la ronge
then we go back
to where we're from
haven't been there in a long time
gonna see things that'll make me smile
gonna see things i haven't see in a while
just wanna get out back on the land
see the water where it mirrors the sky
just wanna see the same things again
i'm sailing home
the bus wheels whine
it seems the cry
the city left in goodbye
took my transfer at prince albert
all the way from saskatoon
said goodbye to all the friends there
some family maybe too
nothin left there for me to do
got my possessions here with me
in the seat sitting here
i can see the land go by
the sky that same eternal blue
soon i'll be home too
the trees i see are the ones i've seen
when i've taken this road before
the green of their boughs waves playfully
as we rush past effortlessly
today i am happy
today i am going home
leavin saskatoon
nothing left for me to do there
only sit at the apartment walls and stare
as i see my shadow dance across the wall
sun's playin games
sweet smell of the country
sweet smile of the sunshine
going back home
going back to a place i though i'd never see again
and thought i'd never be again
but i was wrong
'cause here i am
smilin as i know we aren't too far away
from the place i like to call home
back to lac la ronge
so much here will be the same
encapsulated in my head
laid to rest 'til i came back
just so
i will see the changes that have come and gone
but that's the same with all the world
'cause nothin really changes
only you do, and you see them a different way
but nothin's really different
you made the change

Suicide

2009-01-23T23:59:00.000-08:00

White on white and blue on blue.
I can see the sky from here.
I think of you.
Gone are the days when you were here,
my heart begs for you to come back.
I think of times passed,
and memories elapsed.
I long for you,
sun sitting on the surface of the sky.
Please come back.
Everyone waits for you.
Sadness in the eyes of those who you left,
loneliness in those who never said goodbye.
You can't fill the emptiness with sorrow,
it'll be gone tomorrow.
Eat you up inside,
there's blood on the riverside.
Black water locked in heavy ice,
gone 'til the break-up;
come back before it breaks.
Clouds stretching themselves before a long journey,
no wind to push them onwards.
Soon no-one will be here to see for you,
they'll all have forgotten you.
Don't go,
please come back.
Eat you up inside,
there's blood on the riverside.
Snowflakes perform pirroets and tumble down,
lying porcelain
on the undisturbed white canvas of snow.
Empty blue,
eyes looking out into the next world.
If you look hard enough you can see where you went.
Maybe if we look harder,
maybe if we search a little longer,
maybe if we pray a little better,
we can bring you back.
What made you go,
we'll never know.
Please don't go,
we need to know,
what's making you leave us so.
You can't be leaving yet,
we need you to tell us
where you went.
How can we find you
before
it's too late.
Why did you have to go?
Go away, away, away.
Eat you up inside;
call somebody quick, there's blood on the riverside
I can see
your
shadow.
On the snow on the riverbank.
I hear the rush of the river.
I hear of it's soulful whisper.
I hear the gunshot cracking in the morning air.
Where, where, where
did you go?
Where can we look?
Can you come home?
It'd be suicide to think you can bring back a man who died....

Lie

2009-01-23T22:27:00.000-08:00

and then you really might know what it's like
cuz i think that you been thinking what you know is right
but i think you realize it ain't alright
cuz how can you see these things at the end of the night?
i can't see but i been thinkin'
that you don't know what you been doin'
cuz how can you see what you haven't been understandin'?
where is the love
where is the thing that you thought you had to lose?
where did it go?
where has it been?
lies won't stop
cries won't stop
you need to fix all this and make it stop
cuz it won't end 'til you're gonna drop
singin' and dancin' and tellin' your song
cuz you've never understood how this did you wrong
how couldn't you see things all along
there isn't much too see the way things have gone
how can you rest when so much must be done?
i bet you coulda found a better way
one with benefits and vacation pay
a way to make life fun today
but i think you and i know why you chose this way
driving down the highway at a quarter to five
just tryna think about keeping it alive
what's there to do when all you've done is lie?

banjo and fiddle

2009-01-17T20:32:00.001-08:00

banjo and a fiddle were dancin' down the road
off to alabama
and the appalachias
they belong in the south
down in the deep south
banjo and fiddle goin' off to kentucky
goin' off to arkansas
goin' off to a hoe down tonight
strings of steel and bows of birch
runnin' down roads of rich red dirt
and they're goin'
we're goin' to a hoe down tonight
crisp little stars in the cold moonlight
wicked little wind blowin' down the highways alright
we're goin' to a hoe down tonight
sounds and songs of a happy family
as we pass through the land of kentucky
inside the ways of appalachia
on to arkansas, louisiana and maybe on through alabama,
over to the virginias and missouri too
all through the south, singin' songs
banjo and a fiddle dancin' down the road
we're goin' to a hoe down tonight
oh muddy water
wash all my sins away
jesus in the sky keep me in your heart til it's my time to die
oh muddy water
wash all my sins away
keep me safe today
as we sing and dance this way
we're goin' down to a hoe down tonight
off we go in the bright moonlight
enjoy the dancin' sky in the night
and the good things we're gonna do this night
banjo and a fiddle runnin' down the road
singin' and playin' and laughin' and smilin'
goin' through every single southern town
'cause we're going to a hoe down
i've lived my life the way i was told
and watched as i been gettin' old
and seen the way the world's been sold
and come to know what's really gold
as we sit and watch the land get sold
and wonder how we can find what's truly gold
and i know in my heart of hearts
what's true and what's a poison dart
'cause i seen whats good and what's just dirt
and understood for what it's really worth
maybe that's why i'm goin' down
goin' down to this hoe down
banjo and a fiddle dancin' down the road
'cause they know whats really right
and how we should be spendin' our time tonight
as i drive like wildfire in the cold moonlight
oh muddy water
wash all my sins away
oh jesus, why don'tcha watch over me today
keep me from goin' astray
'cause i know that i shouldn't go away
so listen to the whisperin' wind
'cause it sounds like a big storm blowin' in

An Ode to the Episode of C.F.

2009-01-12T22:10:00.000-08:00

and every new and shining day
we take the path we hope will lead us to a better way
a better way where we can stay
a place we'd like to stay someday
to keep us with our better ways and keep the pain away
cuz all you got to lose is what you gained today
something to help you think before you go astray
the ways in which your people helped and guided you to say
don't you wanna stop and keep us all and make a big display?
with all your screwed up foreplay
and things that you really meant to be the other way
what more have i to say?
you ruined it you took your chance
you made sure we couldn't fix this trance
something to think about when you see what's really gone askance
the world rocking on its hinges like a door askew
as you realized just what you've come to do
life taking your mind in the paces you've been through
the ways in which you'll never understand exactly what they do
making your path up from the underworld
a journey from the unknown
as you can watch what you have blown
god on your side or maybe on the ones you have dethroned
think about it before everything is gone
something you shoulda understood fore what you did was said and done
now didn't you really have so much fun?
those family that you've put on the run?
do they really want to invest in someone full of rum
making their own lives hellish as they watch you perish
my god you must think you're special to make somethin incredible
that can make us all turn so unintelligible
wait til the light's gone off and you're uneligible
they'll be watchin your path as you grace unremarkable
the brains cells dyin as your eyes lose their sparkle
coming from a place where the descent's matriarchal
the weight of your world faced by others who made it more than partial
as you sit and you wink with the think in your drink
and watch these globs of slick black ink
killing itself off with the drink
everything gone in the time of a blink
something to be said as the world begins to shrink
everything is gone with the length of a song
didn't really take that long
just keep goin along
with those you belong
and soon before you can realize what has come to pass
and wish that you could surpass
but my god won't you be living in the past?
cuz it's gonna come and get you before you can make the pass
and dive back into the things you thought you hid in the grass
maybe your kid will dig up your needles, your pills or your powder
lay it out on the floor so perfect
with the simple look of a child so innocent
that you can't help to corrupt with a mind so undiligent
cut the crap and clean up your act
cuz you've still got the life in your muscles to react
just get up off your ass and hope the edge where you're walking hasn't cracked.

cake

2009-01-10T23:14:00.000-08:00

bought myself a rifle and a batch of johnny cake
gonna take it to my aunt next morning at just past eight
gonna take it by her house sittin there by the lake
i bought the thing cause i don't know how to bake
can handle a pan or pan a handle
but i know how to shoot a grouse or a nice heavy goose
somethin that i don't hafta guess
but i think i'll stay away from that johnny cake

wabaseemoong

2009-01-10T23:02:00.000-08:00

highway 17 does go
through kenora and keewatin
a land of ancient bliss
greening forest hidden by the mist
take the highway 17A
to pass it by
take it west to get to manitoba
or go the east and get to thunder bay
nothing much to see in here and there
just lakes and things grow there
winding highway
where did i take you wrong?
where did i miss the turn off to wikwemikong?
i must be pretty lost, cause the sign says i'm in wabaseemoong
oh where did i go wrong?

the ferris wheel

2008-12-31T14:07:00.000-08:00

beautiful wheel
high up in the sky
twisting twisting twisting
round and round it goes
coming up each time at the same exact angle
tangible colours and sensations dot the night
bobbles of bright colours
round and round it goes
the wheel of life
eliptical journey
each day the sun rises, each day the sun sets
gently it spins its metallic braces and arms
the night sky is lit
sparkling
echoes
up
up
up
the dancing colours
of the carnival go higher and higher into the shimmering sky
soon the great wheel whirls
faster
and faster
it has become a blur of light and sound
as people in the seats laugh
and scream
as they go
round and round it goes
it is magical
it has transformed from a gargantuan hunk of metal
into
a
go
my eyes watch it spin
round and round it goes
i am fascination by its lunar journey
along its spectral orbit
it is
as though
only i can see it
i am not at the carnival
i am
somewhere
else
soon, as all of the world disappears before my eyes
i am on a flat plain of black ground
before me
the ferris wheel

As Soon As You're Born

2008-12-07T19:14:00.000-08:00

riding off into the dying sun
seeing what's ended and what has begun
close your eyes and wish what's been done
edge of the world in the back of your mind
it's hard to live and it's hard to define
where the feeling ends and when you've crossed the line
high as a kite in an aching sky of blue
watching the clouds glide between me and you
making emotions turn to dust that is see-through
that's whisked up by cars as they pass through
leaving no trace they were ever there
just like everything else for which you care
cuz there's nothing to do there
faceless night swallowing the sky
makes you feel like you're gonna die
keep out the madness by closing your eyes
but even from them you can't ever hide
they'll come find your not matter how hard you try
surround you in the travestied web of their lies
eat you up like a burger and fries
til you come to accept that your part of their lives
something to think as you watch people die
distant sun coming up to meet the day that comes early
it should be filled with things that are plenty
something you can't count on in a land that is empty
while the glares of americans remain ever so frosty
the ones that can see past the creation of fallacy
something to be considered when your dishing out an apology
but what they deserve is no matter of humility
since they can never be expected to understand your agony
something that makes you more human than anything
nobody listens and nobody hears
nothing waiting between you and the fear

lmagery

2008-11-16T22:53:00.001-08:00

take the road less travelled
beyond the edges of time
and time out of mind
into the backwaters of the soul
and the backwoods of thinking
nobody will meet you there,
nobody will greet you there,
nobody will be there.
sounds and echoes in the long lost wind
nothing but memories
hallucinations and deliberations are all that remain
something of the past has come to pass
become what is instead of what was
come and gone
start and stop
beginning and end
everything is turned into the opposite way
they are all beyond nothing that is everything that wasn't
black and white fade to grey
everything going backwards into the future
you can't control what is going to happen here
or what already has.
that's my point exactly,
except it isn't.
nothing i've ever said has ever been important,
except that it is.
i'm saying it isn't, so there it is
i'm saying is is, so there it isn't
everything is the opposite, except nothing really is
you're making it all up, you say
except that i'm not.
i haven't lied to you or made anything up,
you created whatever it is that you are seeing
i never can make you think or see anything
that is all of your own creation
maybe you're happy with it, maybe you're not
i don't really know
i didn't think those things for you
that's why i said everything was the opposite, and yet it isn't
because you think it's so
i'm only telling you so,
but whether you follow through is anybody's judgement,
since we can't see inside your mind any better than you can.
isn't life just the same way as what i'm saying here?
maybe it is and maybe it isn't.
i only know what i've been told.
but at the same time i know more.
that's the truth of it,
i can know everything and nothing at the same moment in time.
whatever you see you have made.
i can't see it for you.

dEAR fRIEND

2008-11-16T17:32:00.000-08:00

learn to pacify the senses
bring the childish ideas back with erasers
quietly brand the damage that has happened here.
somewhere in the far reaches of your brain, something that remains that can never be the same,
i know you tried to break her,
make sure that nobody would realize
the mistakes you made when you went with her.
trying to blank out the past
won't help you make this tragic time pass
as you wonder what's gonna happen when everyone else finds out.
those kids, look at them
they're all yours
but this one, well that's a mistake eh?
why didn't you stop and use your head?
medical science created procedures for idiots just like you
the more the merry, not just a few
i wonder how many here would raise their hands and say....?
look at all the families here
oh so young and poor and maybe even,
lest i should stray to the side, and risk offending someone,
....abusive
alcohol and drugs and guns aren't good for kids.
well all know that
so why can't you stick to that pact
you made way back
said you'd never do anything like that
remember that night?
when the dark sky was full of light
coming down from the silver stars
and we sat around the fire
and talked about the future
and hoped with all our hearts we could make it fruitful
and i don't just mean in the bedroom either
we honestly wanted to be able to make it better
for those who we would bring
into this world
but it seems many have forgotten
those sweet words that we spoke
maybe it's the honey dripping from their lips that was really what was said
cause that seems to be what's happened in the end
once i would have considered you a friend
but someone who hits his girlfriend?
no way for me to stay,
and neither should she,
she deserves better that what you've been giving
lying and stealing and running
hoping she won't notice and take to tattling,
bring in social services,
maybe make you realize what kind of diservices
that you really provide.
and what about those kids eh?
don't need a safer life than what you make for them today
all they want to do is go play
but you can't seem to do anything but prevent that
if i can ask anything from you,
it is to stop for once second
and perhaps for me to recommend
that you take a damn hard look
at your messed up life.
and all the other lives you have ruined.

Black and White Stripes

2008-11-14T23:58:00.000-08:00

black and white stripes on the egdes of insanity,
worlds that collide with increasing calamity,
thoughts that break the dawning enterance of reality,
what is it I've done to encourage passivity?
broken the promise of life and death,
wait umtil the condensation from your breath,
has become of the water in the ocean blue,
gone forever, just like you.
i can't think of how this has come to pass,
the constant change of emotions transfixed so fast,
it seems as though our lives have been caught in a perpetual dash,
always on the run, digging deeper into the pockets for fast cash.
suddenly you look back and it's gone,
whatever you had when nothing was done,
the hidden messages smashed as wicked waves on a hardened shore, waiting to be deciphered,
god in the machine watching as we just get higher.
magical elixers,
the power to make the what's good seem sinister,
change the face of an innocent into something that should have finished her.
glass eyes peering out from the surface of dawn,
chasing the mirages you created with your own darkness,
keeping whatever you thought you had and thought you could share through daring,
maybe now it's disappeared.
alice down the rabbit hole,
only i can see and fear the cold,
or so i've been told,
i feel like i'm wound in a carpet that's been rolled,
nothing is real, in this sea of repulsion.
myself am nothing to do with what i have and can become,
take the life of not only people but the memories of what i've done,
change the blackest night back into the most glorious day,
something i'd never thought i'd have to end this way.
the subtle joys and harmonies of love and kinship,
destroyed and maligned in this fateful place we've come to call friendship,
tailor-made to suit our own fantasy of the flesh.
caravan of god snakes over the horizon,
coming to get us whether we can see past the edges of the horizontal.
make me bleed, so that i can be free,
put me to death, so that i can see,
make it so that i have no choice but to flee.
escapism is just another way,
make the choice that you won't be able to reverse one day.
something to remove us from this earth,
ensure our place among the tradgedies of equality,
make sure that we are forever encrusted in fallacy,
a fact we know we had the time to change, but only managed to capitulate our chances,
you can watch the smoke as it dances,
maybe this it what it looks like when a ghost walks and prances.
hallucinations of what we feel in our own skin,
nothing to tell us we should be proud of the skin that we're in,
just want to disappear from the horror we have welcomed in.
maybe i can be cain, and you abel,
except we'll kill both of us since we're both so able,
no one needs us to remain among
those of humanity who call this place home.
toxic cocktail of fairy dust and pain,
something no child would ever want to play with.
maybe we can call it mental illness,
maybe we can call it drug addictions,
maybe we can call it something else to reduces the length of our lives,
and instead decide
how we want to die
and how we want to be immortalized.
look at the image you have painted for yourself in the mirror,
do you think of it as something to like or to fear,
perhaps divinity is as a far cry for us as is reality,
maybe we can just exist in an infernal purgatory,
stick our wretched bodies full of vile chemicals,
and never have to face the consequences.
since one step to the left is to enter the cave
you can never come back from there.
most call it hell,
maybe it's a difficulty idea to sell,
but i can see that the mind warping has done quite well,
all those years of abuse, misuse and repeated damnation have taken their toll.
it's time to open the door to the place we've never been before
and open the trap door that's hidden in the floor

welcome home

2008-11-08T19:01:00.000-08:00

up along the river where the wavy grasses grow
along the shallow shores and brown muddy banks
with the bath of dusty dirt and shrubbery
and the birds whistling in the trees as you pass
the summer sun hot on your back
nobody watchin
nobody carin
black clouds dancin on the horizon
just turn the other way, don't look back
you'll never see them til it's to late
keep your eyes on the road up ahead
get ready to run
dodge the train on the tracks
keep away from the rest of them
it isn't safe here anymore
nothin left is golden
everything is broken
laundry flutters in the breeze
hanging from a crooked wire
from a wooden post to a plastic house
watchin everybody grow up
amid the rubble and the grow ops
shiny diamonds of rain draining from the sky
the tears of the creator, maybe
they say ignorance is bliss
but how can you be ignorant once you've seen this?
community despair and destruction await
all those who linger too long at the entrance to hell's gate
cheerful sun in a sky of baby blue
smilin right back at you
gentle whisper of the breeze
dancin along the twisted train tracks

Ebb and Flow

2008-10-28T22:05:00.000-07:00

ebb and flow
edge of this world and that down below
south, take the long way home
past the houses row on row
down to the city
taken away from the village and into the proximity
big highways and animosity
selling their souls and that of others in ferocity
hoping nobody notices
hiding in the garden full of lotuses
try to blend in within the majority
though they stand out in a way of mediocrisy
hidden in their own waves of hypocrisy
the police follow them
from here to the end
something you don't wanna do to a friend
set up on a path
that they can't off
no matter how hard they try
they've been lost
something else transpires
within the cities so-called ancient spires
the dark face of something sinister
lurking within the shadows
the same colour as those gowns worn by ministers
i wonder who understands these facts
so that we can all sit back and relax
and understand the difference between carbon and income tax
don't wanna signal a relapse
guess we're just gonna have to sit this one out and pass
keep what's better hidden in the past
scare the tourists off fast
sometime ago you thought this was beautiful
come to the city and reap what is bountiful
didn't realize how things were gonna crystalize
keep me locked in as things synthesize
nothing we can do to remove these lies
cause we've been locked in by our own innocent eyes
naive children anxious to learn
unaware we would come to know to much
but now when we think we've seen enough
we're trapped in a world that's too rough
something they warned us about in elementary school
when we were all in awe and thought violence was cool
didn't even think we'd been played as a fool
something else that they'll never show you in school

Green Grass Sky

2008-10-12T21:35:00.000-07:00

green grass high in the sky
looking back down the road
heaven and hell on the fly
travelling thru the tales we been told
silver light crossing your mind
something else to understand
can't you keep the things you find
keep yourself free from reprimand
and so we went this way
around the path
arcing along within the day
couting every fence post
god in heaven watch us over
like they said he would
make sure we're safe forever
as we have understood
somewhere behind the curtain
black like diamonds in the dark
empty as a cocktail glass
with nothing left to drink
i see a light
dancing in a circle
and it's the only thing left
of what we did create
taking all these thoughts
i hope to realize
that all we had were theories
of how to actualize
maybe it's just too bad
that what we've managed to do has failed
or maybe this is better
so now we can learn to feel
shining dollars on the counter
what they cannot buy i don't want to know
just what they do i can
the rest is all someone else's knowledge
pass down by the gentle river
going back to the valley
take our time 'cause this isn't a race
watch the sunset from the veranda
clouds swaying in the whispy breeze
green grass dead with the graveyard
accented by a sky of blue
all the roads are made of gravel

Red Car

2008-10-11T21:53:00.000-07:00

crawling up the hill between the houses
just on the edge of the town
I saw the car
bright red like a cherry on top of a cake
shiny like a freshly painted firetruck
sitting in front on the house
it doesn't belong to anyone here I know
maybe someone's kid from the city came back
made a lot of money
put us all to shame
doesn't want people to know where they came from
not a little dusty town like this
I sat there and admired the car
I wanted one too
but then I stopped to think
where does money like that come from,
when everything's too good to be true?
maybe the bad places that adults like to talk about
in hushed voices with the door closed.
I never saw the owner of the car;
I figured it was bad to spy.
the car was still there
the next day
along with everything else
just like the day before
school with its dull lessons in the fall away from here,
christmas with its bright packages from home that we long for,
the first sunny days of spring that soon it will be another summer and we will return home.
I think again of the red car
maybe it is someone from the school
bringing that car into town
I don't know what they'd want here.

here

2008-08-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

i can hear you
crawling up and down the stairs
back behind the kitchen
in your worn out winter boots
there's nothing else to do today
why don't we sit and while the time away
there's nothing on tv
except that which comes from far away
aren't you glad the good weather's here to stay?
maybe we can go up the creek
see some friends
and go fishing on the way
make sure we stop at auntie's on the way back
she likes to have visitors
she sits in the kitchen with charlene
and plays cards all day
i'm gonna buy some beer today
with some money
that i saved up from those jobs
i went and did painting houses
maybe we can have some fun
get some friends to join us
being drunk ain't much fun when you're alone
if you want
we could get some food in town
or maybe
just go to a relatives
i think our refridgerator's broken
the only thing left in there
is moldy bread
and a little bit of dried up lettuce
that i think came from a food bank or a potluck
someday i wish
that i could go away
maybe south to some big city
i don't know where
get away from all this place
then i think
of all my friends
and remember
what happened to everybody else
who went down to the cities
and then i think
about what my family would do
when i wasn't here
i think i'd get too damn lonely
and get drunk too much
and not go to work
cause i'd miss everybody too much
i think i'll stay here
even though some say it's hard
but i gotta disagree
cause this is where i'm from
and this is where
my people are from
so i think that i just stay.
i don't know what i should do
because we get told
to go south and get work
or go to the mines farther up north
i just don't know
those places seem so far away
it's kinda scary
goin to a place where there's nobody you know
and nothing looks the same
my uncle went to saskatchewan
and said that he never saw a forest
and i don't know what i'd do
if i stopped seeing the things i know
i don't know what i'd do
they keep coming round
asking us to come to church
go to school
get a job
go to town
why can't they leave us alone?
why can't they see we're just as happy here?
that studying foreign history doesn't expand your mind
that working for some strange goal doesn't make you better
that leaving where you're from can't help you get ahead
i just wanna do what my elders taught me
go by the land
live my life a good way
know the traditions that bind the earth
not what they teach you about in picture books
i don't belong
in the white man's town
i'll stay here on the rez
and learn my own ways
i need to understand myself
before i can learn the ways
of someone else
and i just don't know if they understand
when will they ever?
i don't want to hurt myself
or hurt you
there's just nothin else to do
drinking kills
slowly
but like i said before
there ain't much else to do
there's only so much that you and i can do
to change what's going on
i don't think that we can ever stop
the people from going and drinking in the bars
there's just too much pain to deal
they need something to keep going in the day to day
but it's sad
maybe one day it will all disappear
and leave us all alone
so that we can get back to our ways
before we had to change
and learn to live the ways of the white man
and lose the knowledge that we already had to survive
the truth is already written in the history books
there's nothin we can do bout that now
just gotta go on
and keep trying
somethings may change
while others stay the same
i wish that i could make it easier
for everyone
so that we don't have to suffer anymore
and forget about the past
even though that never seems to make the pain go away
can even make it worse dependin how you look at it
and make it so
that there doesn't need to be people chasin after us all the time
or special scary government departments
and i don't need a welfare check
and have to worry about whether i can get a job
because of the way i look and how i can't change that
someday i hope
that things will get better
and we won't have the things to do now
just to get by with life itself
but in the meantime
maybe we can find something good.

Knowledge

2008-08-16T18:32:00.001-07:00

let there be enough time
to create crystal buildings out of glass
to shape them at whim and idea
and to mold thoughts out of mind.
within these great monoliths of architexture and physical science
i would house
knowledge out of history
written on the edges of time and the universe itself.
let there be enough time
so that erasers and repainting
may represent itself in history
though knowledge and understanding will be not lost.
let these things
come to pass under one roof
just as one family lives in one house.

house in the woods

2008-08-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

in between the valleys
and the green emerald trees
sits an old house
carved out of cedar wood.
it's been there a long time
and has gone grey
like an old woman's hair.
there are yellowed curtains in the windows
and smoke curling up from the chimney.
at night
a small light is in
the right window.
if you look hard enough
sometimes you can see someone reading a book
inside the house.
there are never any parties
there
but people come and go
but I've never seen anyone
travel up and down the road.
there is nothing to indicate
that anyone is living there
apart from the fact
that on sunny days
there is laundry
hanging outside.

Past Christmas

2008-08-06T17:49:00.000-07:00

plasticine clay
and peppermint spice
shadows and boxes and everything nice.
satin red ribbons
dark green fur trees
light powder snow and a cold winter breeze.
old waxy candles
and chalky cakes
twine and flowers and plastic snakes.
bright coloured paper
red and green hats
old knitted stockings and a christmas cat.
yellowed cards
and candy canes
dance in a memory of christmas that came.

something short

2008-08-04T17:50:00.000-07:00

time goes slipping by
in an upside down bottle
as a butterly flutters past my window
i think
of all the things that could have been
that should have been
and weren't.
i think
of times and places and wide open spaces
a kite dancing around in the sky
silouetted by green boreal trees.

Proud People

2008-07-15T23:08:00.000-07:00

a proud people once stood
on a hissock in the hill
and surveyed the land that was rightly theirs
the black hills of south dakota
and many surrounding plains
all were theirs
claimed not only through tradition but through honor and sacrifice
a strong and fearless people
who ruled the land with fair and just rule
one day to become wards of the state.
oh where did these people go?
forced off the lands they once surveyed
onto reserves no bigger than the state of long island
much smaller than what is really theirs
an outrage to their living and their dead
caused by a government which does not care
about the people or the air.
and in this vein
there will be no peace
until these lands go back
to those who really own them.
high above the proud black hills,
the clouds danced in the baby-blue sky
while far below
there lingered abuse and violence
among the people who once stood proud
among their sacred lands.

Ride the White Wave

2008-07-13T12:42:00.001-07:00

ride the white wave
that curves over the rocks in the bay
and crashes down onto the sand below,
scooping up the driftwood and seaweed as it goes.
ride the white wave
that scatters the dust from the sand
and traces the outline of the water,
bringing in the wind.
ride the white wave
that shapes the clouds
and dapples the colours on the tree trunks,
shaping the reflections on glass.
ride the white wave
that empties the dishes in the soapy water
and rinses the thoughts,
moving feelings and apathetic tendencies.
ride the white wave
that removes memories of pain and sorrow
closing books on the past until tomorrow,
saving what's left and destroying what's not.

Paper Mache Mask

2008-07-11T22:56:00.000-07:00

and then, out of the sparkling darkness
a face pasted out of hope,
the edges smeared and soaked in glue,
dried on a shelf during a hot afternoon,
the colours slightely faded by the light.
features shaped by loving hands,
curving,
flowing into the paper and cardboard,
wrapped by the thin outer forcefield
of craft glue mixed with water
and then dried.
still slightely tacky,
and smelling of glue,
the face carries hope on its way to you.
concealing human emotion in paper,
i leave you this gift
the only expression that you will need
on your journey.

south dakota

2008-07-08T22:24:00.000-07:00

my brother
and i
once drove
across the bottom
of south dakota
in an old
station wagon
it was very dusty there
i don't know why
we went
he said he liked
the grasses there
he claimed the breeze
was nice and fresh
as it skittered off into
the west
i don't know why
we went
there instead
of montana or idaho
he said he preferred
the bottom of
south dakota.
the land there
was very flat indeed
with rocks
and dried out river beds
and funny looked grasses too
which stood quite still
against a brilliant sky of blue,
and beyond those little specks,
sometimes a rock or too
would the horizon crest.
we stopped and took a rest
by the zig-zags in a crooked fence,
that curved again
into the west.

The Purple Roses

2008-07-08T22:20:00.000-07:00

buy me a kite
and paint it black
like the fur that grows on your cat
who sits up by the purple roses
that i bought for you
on a hot summer's day
in may
when the sun shone bright
and made the green grass glow
and i looked at those flowers
and thought
they looked
like the shadows you can see
in your eyes
when you tilt your head to the side
and look in the mirror
with a flashlight

winsome shadows

2008-06-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

in the winsome shadows of the dark green hills,
covered
with thick dark fur trees,
they watched the thin lake quivver in the twitching breeze
their eyes glancing down the long expance
the sky painted on the sheet of glass.
and there they saw an eagle
soaring
high above their own heads
imprinted on the dappled surface
of the ever changing water that
shivered below their feet.

jUDY bLUE eYES

2008-06-20T21:46:00.000-07:00

soup cans
stacked like plastic candy-canes
their irridescent glow
sprayed across her face
just like paint
age
etched away in every line
curling across time and space
words can't describe
the emotions hidden, behind those burnt blue eyes
coloured
neon, just like her hair, peroxide blond
dyed badly in someone's bathroom sink
in some hotel
on Hastings street,
where the guilded buildings gleam
with summer sweat on a humid day, they
look long shadows
at those below them.
molded lace curtains
sputter in the false breeze, that chudders up from
the thick buses below,
smelling
like cheap liquor and raunchy cigarrettes,
woven into her hair,
just like the braids she wears
put in so long ago
by somebody else, who didn't really care.

my bro

2008-05-19T22:58:00.000-07:00

spending money buying food
no-one cares if u cant afford to pay for food
8 bucks an hour ain't exactly fun
pretty sh*tty job all in all
money that should be spent at the mall
but i gotta save it all
gonna go to college in the fall

working long hours every single day
wished i had a job like my bro
carefully saves up all his hard earned dough
already knows where hez gonna go

my little bro spends all his money on weed
it aint sh*t that hez really gonna need
uses that sh*t up like chiken feed
im just glad he doesnt use speed

i dont like school that much
the teachers there are pretty f*cked up
the kids who like it there are just messed up
seems like they do nothin to get a buck

i wish there wasnt all this insanity
keeping us down and out with poverty
aint got time to look for clarity
aint gonna take no fuckin charity

every day it gets harder to go on
watchin my older bro makin sure he can get beyond
the shit u find at the bottom of a pond

Sardine Minnow

2008-03-30T14:05:00.000-07:00

bought a new coat
sold the old one on a steamboat
when we were goin down the rippling stream
it had a torn inseam
but the man who bought it was mighty keen
said it was the nicest coat he'd ever seen
said it was the colour of a sardine
we passed the statue of the queen
with it's heavy gleam
making the forest round look pretty green
and the water below pretty gray
with a somber glow
and just down low, I could see a little minnow
swimming in a little grotto
hidden in the granite
which was coloured russet
shiny as a silver bullet
hidden away just like a secret
coloured just like a sardine

St. Peter and St. Paul

2008-03-30T13:53:00.000-07:00

Didja hear the story
about St. Peter and St. Paul?

Goin to Saskatoon
with gold fields in the fall

Hitchhikin with strangers
trying to get there fast.

Didja hear the song
about Mr. Fournier?

Left erelong,
Sold his family farm

Walked along,
gone to Fond-du-Lac.

Didja hear the tale,
about old Mrs. Williams?

Walking to the town,
past the old windmills

Goin to talk,
to old St. Peter and St. Paul.

government secrets

2008-03-25T20:53:00.000-07:00

gov'ment buying time from the damn people
selling land like it's christmas presents
sending out churches to help the heathens
hoping to spread help
mission impossible
gov'ment chucking dimes and nickels at the wall
paying attention to their own downfall
keeping information to themselves
keeping the secrets up on high shelves
spreading out the settlements
watching their sacraments
gov'ment spending money on sh*t
wear the glove if it fits
making sure we all looking the right way
sending all the indians back to jail
making sure we don't know what we ain't been told
social services ain't got no money so they gotta fold
gov'ment taking taxes for entertainment
selling out to some British economist
poverty and abuse running loose
asking for helps like making your own noose
forests going down to the pulp mills
excavators diggin up the massacres
gov'ment been lyin to you all along
hidin history from those they been hurtin all along
since before dominion they been destroyin the land
makin sure everyone don't know what they banned
Kuper island is a prime example
if you want more like that we got a handful

Aerospace and Plastic Hedgerows

2008-03-20T18:53:00.000-07:00

Aerospace is closing in
falling upside to supper through Texas
and you asked me
would I be free
to take tea
with thee?
On a Saturday afternoon
when we
have
just considered the outlines
that linger from the clouds dotting overhead.
But, like I said before,
aerospace is closing in
sending sparks through people's plastic hedgerows
that
are really
terribly
infested with badgers.

Alone

2007-11-17T21:38:00.000-08:00

When I went away,
did you laugh,
did you cry.
I never thought about
not seeing you
with me.
True,
it was a whole summer
ago,
and I'm already
wishing
that you were here,
with me.
Those soft and blurry
memories
of you are fading
away
into smudges
in my brain that I
wish I could refresh
by seeing you.
I loved you,
and I still do,
these memories the greatest
treasures I hold dear,
locked away from the touch
of others,
a gift.
I miss you,
and only the sweet summer sun,
can re-etch
those feelings back
into my head.

I don't feel well. At all.... there's nothing I can do about it either really. The songbird outside the window with the stained green glass, overlooking the gently sloping gray dales that are covered with the ancient purple heather we walked through [do you remember yet?], ever the wind which goes over the top of them and comes down on the other side, like a laughing kite, diving, soaring, whistling through the huge valleys in between. I miss you, my hands are cold and I am alone among my peers until I can see you again, be with you again. Your lovely brown eyes are pressed into my thoughts, I want to talk to you rather than rely on a memory of you that is wasting away, succumbing to be eaten by time itself.

Sightlines

2007-11-11T20:17:00.000-08:00

Faraway,
the people say
they came to rest
upon the shore, one day
blown away
from homes on best,
of lands they came from faraway.
a group of men,
tall, each like a mercenary,
the final icing of defeat
none too strong to massacre,
the living and the dead.

Did you ever hear
of them
those
who came
stumbling
along
the back lanes
like
rusting bicycles
that
creak
with every tensing push,
and
shudder
beside
the lone gray
hedgerow
that
creeps

beside
the
path.

And then, heaven opened up like wildfier
on a cool summers night,
invasive,
not taking any chances with the luck.
The sky, all glowing of amber shades
the eyes of men,
glazed in porcelain hues of white
and red.
Hearts, made of flesh and feeling,
all turned to dust,
with divine intervention,
fly away.
Created from the flotsam and jetsam,
all great things come to pass,
from the smallest grain of sand,
to the largest fire in the sky.

i am st. archangel

2007-08-09T19:57:00.000-07:00

do you see them,
they are marching
marching
marching
do you see them,
they are dying
dying
dying
heaven open up your broken heart
the lost ones who you made from the start
the shattered bones that snap like little piroettes of glass
souls gone to hell on earth
as he said it “those ones came for us, and then they took us” they are the killers the psychotropic mass-murderers with their eyes of diamond and a wreckless heart of powdered Cocain
sheen of sweat it glistens above the hot sun,
in the hands of the endless forger,
the great scorekeeper in the sky see me,
i am st. archangel i am st. archangel
i do not think you can see them
they are burning up like rotten ash in a boiler furnace
they are eaten up like ground meat pulverized by the endless chopping and cutting of silver-hued knives
they are murdered like lambs at slaughter
their flesh is already the feast of those who will replace them;
it is fate undone and cannot be kept away
those who follow in ttheir well-worn paths will take on the pain that is never going to disappear
they will take on the corpses that are once the living
and then become the dead
“those ones came for us, and then they took us”
they come again,
again,
again
those ones never tire of what they do
they kill
their souls are like the ones they take to keep
they are just as dead as those who come after they have taken all who walk in their shadow
there is no shadow the eyes have ground them into shards of cultured glass
i am st. archangel i am st. archangel i am st. archanegl
do you not see what i put on the plate before you it is pure muscle it is human it is fresh it is the corpes of all those come were before you and then after you like you
they only saw the little shining lights
they didn’t see the death see it know it is death,
death,
death
you are all gone too
thrown to pieces against a wall of bones your own faces now made of luxurious skin will be turned to stone you are the little pieces on the next plate
i can’t save you
i won’t save you
i am st. archangel i am st. archangel I AM ST. ARCHANGEL